Hello internet friends. Here I am behind the merch table while frank turner is about twenty feet away, on stage, crooning about an ex girlfriend or his dead dog, I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, last night and tonight PBC played Sweden. It's pretty here and I'm grateful not to be working my dead end job back in New York state but I must admit, Sweden has been the weakest as far as crowd response. Hell, I'm not even sure if this country is actually pretty because I've been trapped inside each club each night. However, there are beautiful women everywhere, women I'd gladly take back to my parent's futon if we were back in the states. Sure, that's not saying much, I'd find a women in a burn victim ward at the local hospital attractive at this point but that's probably a story for another time.

This is the first time I've actually written an entry drunk so I hope you will bear with me through this grammar nightmare. Speaking of drinking, I've come to the realization that I am a full fledged alcoholic. Shows and traveling just isn't fun if I'm not on some next level shit. I like to tell myself I'm still a functional alcoholic but the rest of PBC would probably beg to differ. It's ok, they knew I only tagged along to do two things – drink beers and start shit. Mission accomplished.

While Sweden clearly hates Polar Bear Club as well as fun, our two shows in Germany were fantastic. PBC went over great and we were able to sell a lot of merch which helps the cause. To be honest, we're not making a lot on this tour as far as guarantees. I won't get into details but let's just say I'm not going to be able to afford any type of present or bouquet of flowers for my special lady on Valentine's Day. When I say special lady please understand I'm talking about the only woman I know – my mom. I'm trying to talk the rest of the dudes into letting her go on tour with us when we head out with Have Heart in March. I need her ATM card and I just know she'd hit it off with Trapped Under Ice.

As always, if you're looking for more in depth information as far as shows, PBC in general or shit doesn't involve my self hate, you won't find it here. If you want that boring shit, e-mail the band. I'll end this once again pointless entry on a high note. What follows is my top five PBC members list. Like most things in my life, this list is based on what they've done for me lately. Send beer, loose women, and American cigarettes. Please, kill me.

1. Nate – He's my actual best friend, has a mustache as well that reminds me of that uncle who taught me all about foreplay, and puts up with my jokes even though he's been hearing the same one for the last six years. Plus, he was in Marathon. Kudos.


2. Goose – He has a mustache right now, he'll show me his balls at the drop of a hat and he makes me feel skinny even if I am currently 20 pounds overweight.


3. Jimmy – Talent and good looks only get you so far on this list. Jimmy forgot my birthday this past January. Jimmy also has the grossest neck beard that sadly reminds me of ball hair. I don't even know what that means but I'm drunk and high on this girl in front of the merch table's butt. What?


4. Emmett – While Emmet was the only PBC member that was willing to hang out with me on my latest birthday, he was also balls deep in my last ex girlfriend for a spell. Sure, who wasn't, but I'm like an elephant – grey, large, and never forgetting.


5. Chris – Chris likes the Lakers, Yankees and may have voted for John McCain. That last part isn't true but everything I write on this thing is a lie anyway so why stop now?

Happy Friday the 13^th, please think of me on the 14^th, you're all I got.